Willard

This is the story about my experience with a 13 year old boy named Willard.

I changed the names.

I came into the cabin after a few hours of hauling luggage for arriving campers. I looked around to see several preteen boys that would be spending the week together. Max, my co-counselor, was having the boys play some games so that everyone could get to know each other a little better. I made an effort to go around and talk to each of the boys for a few minutes, asking them questions about their lives and why they came to camp. I came around to Willard, and we made a good first impression on each other. He seemed like a fun kid, full of energy and outgoing. I did not know then that throughout the rest of the week Willard would reveal to me the limits of my patience.

We started off on a good foot, I was demonstrating my juggling skills and helping the boys learn to juggle. Willard had a special interest in Juggling, and fell in love with it right away. It was all he wanted to do with every free moment he had. He would always ask me if he could use my juggling balls. I could see the disappointment on his face when I had to tell him that juggling rocks was not allowed. I have found that the boys who get the most into juggling tend to have stressful situations at home.

The first day of camp after arrival, I was assigned to help Dan, a fellow counselor, facilitate a group of campers in playing sports. Willard was disrespectful to Dan as he was giving instructions, and Dan said "Don't talk back to me." I had noticed before that Willard did have a poor attitude, but hearing Dan say this got me to realize that Willard was having trouble respecting others.

The next day, we were playing carpet ball and waiting for the lunch bell to ring. Things are going well, I'm watching Willard play, he is winning round after round. The lunch bell rings, and it's time to go to the dining hall. I have to tell Willard 3 times to quit playing, and lifts his hand threateningly as if he is going to throw the ball at me. I was very frustrated at him, and as we are walking up the dining hall, I am harsh with him. My employer just happened to be at the top of the hill, so I thought to myself "I can imagine he would not be happy with me treating the camper like this." It was important for me to be in that situation, because it forced me to look at my actions from a more objective point of view. Upon later reflection this point of view allowed me to realize that I should have looked over that offense and been more of a friend.

I went to talk with my co, Max, about it one day. He said, "I know his is just a kid, be he is still a jerk" I had to agree with him on that. I said "I know that I need to try and show love to him anyway, but it is really hard." Max said "He probably has a tough home life, and that is why he is acting out like this, he may not get a lot of good attention from his parents."

That night as we were getting settled in the cabin and winding down for the day, I called Willard over to talk with me. "Willard, I've noticed you have been very disrespectful to your fellow campers and the counselors. I know you love to juggle, but this is how it is going to be. I expect you to show respect to other counselors from now on. If I hear you talking back to a counselor, I will revoke your privileges to use my juggling balls for the day. As long as you do well, you can use any of my juggling equipment any time that you want." He was very cooperative, and gracefully accepted my correction. I knew that he intended to make an effort, and that he wanted to do better.

Unfortunately my talk with Willard about respect must not have sunk in deep enough. The next day he punched another camper. I took him in the office to talk to my employer. He set Willard aside and had a long talk with him. I did not have the opportunity to sit with them because my co-counselor was on break and I needed to be with my cabin. But I am sure that I would have benefited from seeing how my employer dealt with the situation if I had the opportunity to be around. Looking out the window from the dining, hall, I saw from his body language as he spoke that my employer was being gentle with Willard, and that he was really getting through to him. Willard didn't punch anyone for the rest of the week.

Max and I noticed that Willard had hung towels and blankets over his bunk to make a wall between him and the rest of the cabin. Max brought this up to me and said "It seems he is separating himself from the rest of the cabin". This displayed how he was not opening up to us and would pull back into his fortress away from his fellow campers. I did not know what to do about this.

It came time to send the kids home to their parents. This week I got to see the kids off as they left. Willard was taking the bus back to his home. I walked with him, in silence, from the dining hall to the where the bus stopped and he was the last one to get on. I had one last opportunity to leave him on a positive note. As he took his first step on to the bust, I put my hand on his shoulder, "Hey Willard" He stopped and turned around "Huh?" I extended my hand for a hand shake. "Willard, I'm really glad that I got to spend a week with you. It's been a good time. Keep on working on your respect." I smiled at him as I said this. He looked at me and in all seriousness he said "I will" and got on the bus. I walked away, feeling glad that I had at least shown him one act of kindness.

This brings up one thing that I learned. Often times the stresses of my current situation and the flaws and limits of my character cause me to behave in a way that is less than ideal. In hindsight, I see that I had passed up too many opportunities to connect with Willard and to make him feel more at home at camp. My own lack of patience had put me at enmity with Willard, which made it hard for me to be his friend. I was looking at things from my own perspective instead of his, which made it impossible for me to sympathize with his struggles. This reinforces my conviction that I should try to see beyond a person's actions and words, and try and support and comfort them in regards to what is hurting them instead of offer more resistance to them because of what they are doing wrong.

So what I need to do when I am stressed in the future is to examine myself to see what flaws of my character and what limits of virtue are causing me to be less than ideal, and to prayerfully and earnestly push and stretch myself to do better in that area. One important way to notice my limits is to look at how more mature and experienced people deal with similar situations to mine and compare that to how I do things.