I feel really good about this year. I feel at peace with the future.
There is nothing that I do not have that I need. I don't want that which I don't have.
This is a good feeling. I have not felt this feeling for a very many times.
It is like everything I am reaching for is within my grasp and I have the patience to wait for it to come to me.
This feeling I think comes from fulfilling my purposes. Partly it comes from working hard and achieving things. And being who I want to be. That is nice.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Monday, September 19, 2011
What happens
I can see what happens sometimes. Sometimes amazing things happen behind the scenes. Like when nothing goes according to plan but everything still works out perfectly. That keeps happening over and over again. God's mind is so much higher than mine I usually have no idea what He is doing until a while after it is already done.
Friday, August 19, 2011
SpringHill
Well I didn't write for a long time.
I worked at SpringHill for the summer as a counselor. It was very much worth the time. I learned lots of stuff. I got to benefit from being in a Christian community. I got to be part of changing the world.
Lots of good stuff will happen because of what went on this summer. I feel very blessed to have been a part of it.
I worked at SpringHill for the summer as a counselor. It was very much worth the time. I learned lots of stuff. I got to benefit from being in a Christian community. I got to be part of changing the world.
Lots of good stuff will happen because of what went on this summer. I feel very blessed to have been a part of it.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
How Small
I was reading the word of the day in my dictionary app.
The word was "Ken" and this is the definition according to Merriam-Webster.
:the range of perception, understanding, or knowledgeken of young children — Lois M. Rettie>
Ok that was interesting to me, I didn't even know that was a word before.
I've also been reading a book. It has really brought to light how small my Ken is. I'm talking about how unaware I am of the suffering and death going on around the world. People go their entire lives where there highest pursuit in life is to survive. Kids starving to death, populations of people dying unreached with the message of salvation, and I feel like that doesn't even factor into my ken. It is like something is keeping me to coming to that realization. It just hasn't hit me how messed up this world is and how good I really have it relative to most people. Why am I not one of the kids who dies before they are grow up? I can't take credit for it. What am I supposed to do knowing that I have so much priveledge when a lot of people aren't having the needs meet for basic survival? How am I supposed to feel?
My whole way of thinking is being challenged. I am beginning to see how stupid this society is. I am beginning to see how strong of a hold of materialism has on the people in this country. I grew up with this and I haven't really been exposed to much else. How can I really know how to live for anything besides just getting more stuff and advancing my own position in the world? I need to realize that my world isn't contained within the United States.
A lot of things that I used to think were decent and acceptable are now worthless and wasteful. We waste so so much in this country. What gives us the right to do that? Because we created the things we wasted in the first place? No one has anything that wasn't given to them in some way.
It is almost like I didn't have any idea that the world was messed up and I'm just starting to see it. There is no way that I could be living my life the way I am wasting stuff and seeking stupid worthless stuff that our culture says is important while being aware of the need elsewhere and not feel like I'm a monster.
What needs to change is people need to stop thinking that they deserve everything and trying to get more stuff and just advance their own place in the world. That won't solve other people's problems, but that would solve the United States' problem with being a bunch of sarlacci who's ken is limited to the next consumption.
The word was "Ken" and this is the definition according to Merriam-Webster.
:the range of perception, understanding, or knowledge
Ok that was interesting to me, I didn't even know that was a word before.
I've also been reading a book. It has really brought to light how small my Ken is. I'm talking about how unaware I am of the suffering and death going on around the world. People go their entire lives where there highest pursuit in life is to survive. Kids starving to death, populations of people dying unreached with the message of salvation, and I feel like that doesn't even factor into my ken. It is like something is keeping me to coming to that realization. It just hasn't hit me how messed up this world is and how good I really have it relative to most people. Why am I not one of the kids who dies before they are grow up? I can't take credit for it. What am I supposed to do knowing that I have so much priveledge when a lot of people aren't having the needs meet for basic survival? How am I supposed to feel?
My whole way of thinking is being challenged. I am beginning to see how stupid this society is. I am beginning to see how strong of a hold of materialism has on the people in this country. I grew up with this and I haven't really been exposed to much else. How can I really know how to live for anything besides just getting more stuff and advancing my own position in the world? I need to realize that my world isn't contained within the United States.
A lot of things that I used to think were decent and acceptable are now worthless and wasteful. We waste so so much in this country. What gives us the right to do that? Because we created the things we wasted in the first place? No one has anything that wasn't given to them in some way.
It is almost like I didn't have any idea that the world was messed up and I'm just starting to see it. There is no way that I could be living my life the way I am wasting stuff and seeking stupid worthless stuff that our culture says is important while being aware of the need elsewhere and not feel like I'm a monster.
What needs to change is people need to stop thinking that they deserve everything and trying to get more stuff and just advance their own place in the world. That won't solve other people's problems, but that would solve the United States' problem with being a bunch of sarlacci who's ken is limited to the next consumption.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Pizza
I had some pizza today. I had some pizza yesterday. I had some pizza the day before that. I also had some pizza the days ago.
I wrote a song about pizza.
Pizza tastes good
Pizza tastes good
Pizza is good eats
Lots of cheese and meats
yum yum yum
yum yum yum
Pizza tastes good
Thank you.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thing
Well I wonder about things still. I have not been writing as much lately.
I'm faced with choices. I am required to make decisions. Sometimes it is very hard for me to make a decision because I don't know what choice of action is best. That is because I don't know the future to a high enough degree to be confident that one choice is going to be better than the alternative. On top of that, I'm not even certain about the level of urgency that this decision really has. I don't feel like the consequences are too much of a factor in this case though.
Different parts of me are pulling me in different directions. Outside influences are pulling me in different directions too. Ultimately I will decide what to do though.
I guess that is how it goes. I'm going to reap what I sow either way, so I guess I'll just try to sow what I would more prefer to reap. oh ok.
I'm faced with choices. I am required to make decisions. Sometimes it is very hard for me to make a decision because I don't know what choice of action is best. That is because I don't know the future to a high enough degree to be confident that one choice is going to be better than the alternative. On top of that, I'm not even certain about the level of urgency that this decision really has. I don't feel like the consequences are too much of a factor in this case though.
Different parts of me are pulling me in different directions. Outside influences are pulling me in different directions too. Ultimately I will decide what to do though.
I guess that is how it goes. I'm going to reap what I sow either way, so I guess I'll just try to sow what I would more prefer to reap. oh ok.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Other people
I wonder if other people have as many thoughts about other people as I have?
Sometimes I try to learn about a person. Some people behave in a way that interests me, for different reasons. Sometimes it is because it is confusing to me, sometimes it is because it is inspiring. Most of what I try to learn is how they treat people or behave around different people. I want to know why different people do different things around different people in different situations. I want to know the concrete reasons for it.
I want to know why I do things and not do things too.
Sometimes that is hard to do. I guess I just wonder if other people really observe and study other people the way that I do. Learning about other people, I think, can help reveal things to me about myself at the same time. I don't even have the mental energy to think about it though. I just can't understand some people. But the things I do understand are the things that I'm willing to talk about with a person. The things I don't understand, I don't want to bring up in conversation. And unfortunately that doesn't mean I don't still want to understand those things. Oh well.
Sometimes I try to learn about a person. Some people behave in a way that interests me, for different reasons. Sometimes it is because it is confusing to me, sometimes it is because it is inspiring. Most of what I try to learn is how they treat people or behave around different people. I want to know why different people do different things around different people in different situations. I want to know the concrete reasons for it.
I want to know why I do things and not do things too.
Sometimes that is hard to do. I guess I just wonder if other people really observe and study other people the way that I do. Learning about other people, I think, can help reveal things to me about myself at the same time. I don't even have the mental energy to think about it though. I just can't understand some people. But the things I do understand are the things that I'm willing to talk about with a person. The things I don't understand, I don't want to bring up in conversation. And unfortunately that doesn't mean I don't still want to understand those things. Oh well.
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